Reconnect: Love I. Introduction A. "Love is all you need" 1. So says some of the "prophets" of our time 2. Captures an essential reality of life: our desire for love B. We all want to be loved 1. Who among us has ever said, "no, I do not want to be loved; I want to be rejected, despised, hurt, and/or misunderstood?" 2. Not many, if any! 3. Almost everyone will agree that deep down we all want to be loved C. But what exactly is this "love" that we seek? D. A lot of people think they are seeking "love" when they are really looking for sex or personal validation or some such thing 1. Looking for love and looking for sex are two quite different things; sex does not automatically mean love 2. Some are looking for "yes men," people who will say what they want to hear; such is not really love, either E. Instead, we are really seeking for someone to take the time and concern to get to know us and to care about us anyway 1. We all have enough superficial relationships; deep down, we want to have a deep, trusting relationship where people know who we really are but care for us anyway 2. We want some people to invest time into us, providing true care and concern, not sermonizing or patronizing suggestions 3. We want to feel confident that no matter what may happen, no matter what trials or tribulations we might experience, some people will still be there for us regardless F. We seek these characteristics in one special person: a husband or wife 1. This is the hope and yearning we have for our spouse 2. Yes, it will be a sexual relationship, but ideally one where there is as much emotional and mental "nakedness" as the physical 3. Many seek a life partner, one with whom we will endure the peaks and valleys of life, the person with whom we will grow old G. Yet this is not and cannot be sufficient! 1. No matter how wonderful the husband or wife might be, it is not enough for us to have only that source of support 2. No human being can bear it alone! 3. We therefore also seek out other sources of love and support 4. Family is a natural and often used source of love and support: people with whom you are related 5. Hence the joke: your family "has" to love you since you're related by blood 6. We also seek out friendships with people with whom we have much in common, be it geographic proximity, life situation, shared beliefs, etc. H. Therefore, we are really seeking for deep relationships in which we are fully known and receive unconditional acceptance and support II. Why Do We Seek Love? A. So why do we seek after these relationships? B. First, a challenging recognition: our own insufficiency 1. Implicit in the search for relationship is the demonstration that we do not want to live life on our own 2. Only very few people are truly hermits; most people need interaction with other people 3. This has been biologically and empirically demonstrated: children held as babies by parents or caregivers have better brain development than those who were not! C. The Great Risk 1. This is especially instructive in light of the great risk of searching for love 2. To search for love is to place trust in other people, and other people invariably will disappoint! 3. We always risk failure, rejection, and great emotional pain in order to love and to find people who will love us! 4. Yet we still feel compelled to do so; to live without loving others and without being loved is universally recognized to be miserable and tragic! D. The myth perpetuated by society is the illusion that one can "pick oneself up by their bootstraps" and advance on their own 1. Nevertheless, everyone who has ever prospered has done so because others have supported them in some way or another! 2. Our very civilization and society's existence depends on working together and cooperation with one another; without it, society would instantly collapse! E. Therefore, we are interdependent, not truly independent F. But why? G. This is not just a 21st century American thing: throughout time, people have sought loving relationships with others H. The answer is more profound and greater than we might imagine, for it gets right to the heart of who we are as human beings and our place in the universe! III. God, Man, Creation, and Relationship A. When we talk about love, we start talking about the essence of that to which humanity aspires, but why do humans aspire to love? B. According to the teachings of Christianity, it has everything to do with God and His intentions with His creation! C. Christians believe in God as He has revealed Himself through the creation and in His message to humanity, the Bible (Romans 1:19-21, Hebrews 1:1-3, 2 Timothy 3:15-17) D. The Bible teaches that God made the heavens and the earth and all that is in them, made human beings in His image, and that they should seek after Him (Genesis 1:1-31, Acts 17:24-28) E. What does it mean to be made in the image of God? 1. To be made in God's image is to reflect the characteristics of God to some degree! 2. It cannot be in physical form, since God is spirit (John 4:24) 3. So how do humans reflect God's characteristics? 4. We are conscious, have advanced abilities to communicate, and possess reason; these are more like God than among the animals 5. But what if it goes beyond that? F. The Nature of God 1. Let us spend a moment considering the nature of God 2. Something which we cannot know everything, but what He has made known to us we can understand (cf. Deuteronomy 29:29, Isaiah 55:8-9) 3. God is one (Deuteronomy 6:4-6, James 2:19) 4. Yet the Father is God (John 6:27), the Son/the Word is God (John 1:1, 14), and the Holy Spirit is God (2 Peter 1:21) 5. They are distinct persons (John 8:16-19), and equally God (cf. Colossians 2:9) 6. How can this be? 7. The Bible never suggests that God is one in personhood! 8. God is one in essence, substance, will, purpose, intention, and mind: in short, God is one in relational unity 9. That essence is captured in John 17:20-23 G. God as love 1. This is difficult stuff for us to understand, but love is the answer! 2. Specifically, that God is love (1 John 4:8)! 3. After all, does love not demand an object to love (cf. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)? If God were one person, He would either be the ultimate narcissist or be in dire need of some object apart from Himself to love, which is incommensurate with His standing as God! 4. Yet, if God is One in Three Persons, this makes more sense: God shares love within Himself, the Father for the Son and Spirit, the Son for the Father and Spirit, the Spirit for the Father and the Son! 5. They share such great love and such unity that despite their existence as three persons they can be spoken of as a unity: God "Himself"! H. Therefore, God shares in love within Himself, and further expresses that love by creating His "offspring", the creation, and specifically, humanity (cf. Acts 17:28)! I. We can therefore make sense of why we seek after relationship! 1. If God is one in relational unity, that is, relationship, and we are made in His image, that means we also are made for relationship 2. And, as we have seen, we do seek to relate, to the powers above us and with the people around us! 3. We are therefore part of how God's divine nature is made manifest in His creation (Romans 1:19-21): as God is one in relationship, we do not feel as if we have true unity unless we are in relationship with others! 4. This is why we should not even expect to find full sufficiency in and of ourselves and full independence: such is inconsistent with God and the way He has made the universe! J. Therefore, as God is One in Three Persons, One in relational unity, love, and the Creator, and as man has been made in His image, so mankind is made for relationship with God and with one another! IV. The Problem A. This sounds so wonderful and yet evident: we seek love, we seek relationships, God is one in relationship and made us for relationship; what's the big deal? B. The big deal is our big problem: this love which we seek does not come automatically and is in fact quite difficult to find! C. But if God is love and one in relationship, made us for relationship, and seeks that relationship, how can it be that it is so difficult to develop and maintain these loving relationships? D. Our problem is alienation! E. This alienation is a result of sin 1. The Bible also declares that all men have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) 2. We have sinned because we have followed after our own desires to our hurt (cf. James 1:13-15) 3. We know we need love, but we often are tempted to act in ways that are quite unloving, seeking what we believe to be our own advantage to the harm of others (contra 1 Corinthians 13:4-8) 4. We often settle for things which provide momentary pleasure or escape, either trying to find love through them or to run away from our problems by them 5. We often give into fear: fear of rejection, fear of being exposed as a fraud, fear that we are just not good enough to be loved F. We are thus alienated from God 1. A big part of our problem is that sin separates and alienates us from God (Isaiah 59:1-2, Ephesians 2:12) 2. While we remain in sin, we cannot follow God's purpose for our lives and are hostile toward God and cannot please Him in that condition (Romans 8:6-8) 3. In such a state we are given over to lustful desires, doing things we know are wrong and harmful to us and others, but we keep doing them anyway (cf. Romans 1:18-32)! 4. Let us not be deceived: if we remain in such a condition, none of our good works will matter, and God will reject us on the day of Judgment because we have rejected Him (Matthew 7:21-23, Romans 2:5-11, 2 Thessalonians 1:6-9)! G. But we are also alienated from one another! 1. Sin does not just separate us from God; it also separates us from one another 2. Ever since the Tower of Babel mankind has found ways to sharply define "us" versus "them" (cf. Genesis 11:1-9) 3. There is not a person on this planet regarding whom we could not find some distinction between "us" and "them" so as to justify separation and hostility between "us" and "them"! 4. So it is that when separated from God we end up alienated from His people, without hope, hating others and being hated (Ephesians 2:11-12, Titus 3:3)! 5. This is no way to live! H. Our problem, therefore, is sin, and it affects everything! 1. Parents and other family members many times fail to love each other and their children as they should 2. People are often abused and hurt, physically as well as emotionally, by those in whom they have put trust 3. That "special someone" might not be that special, and might really be using you rather than loving you 4. Far too many people look for love in the wrong places using the wrong means; sex, drugs, money, fame, and such things are poor substitutes for love! 5. Too many people are motivated by selfish desires, greed, fear, and other less than pure desires, and do not find or share in true love I. Such is why we all seek love but have such a hard time finding it! V. The Solution A. When we humans hear about problems, we want to find solutions B. Yet, by ourselves, we cannot solve our sin problem 1. Romans 3:20: no one will be justified by works of the law 2. James 2:9-11: if you break the law in one point you are guilty of it all 3. Therefore, it is not a matter of "good works" outweighing "evil deeds"; one evil deed tips the scale, and who among us has never done anything wrong? C. Yet God loves us, and has done for us what we could not do for ourselves! 1. Jesus, the Son of God, became flesh and dwelt among us, experiencing temptation yet without sin (John 1:1, 14, Hebrews 4:15) 2. He offered up Himself for our sins, dying so that we could be forgiven of sin (Matthew 26:28-29) 3. Through His death God extends the opportunity for reconciliation and restoration, to become the humans God always intended for us to be in Christ (Romans 5:6-11, 8:29) D. Therefore, through Jesus, we can be reconciled back to God and re-establish a relationship with Him, serving Jesus as Lord to the glory of the Father (Philippians 2:5-11) E. So many people believe that it stops right there, yet the Scriptures show it does not! F. Through Jesus we are not just reconciled back to God but also with each other! 1. Enmity between people is killed at the cross of Jesus (Ephesians 2:11-18) 2. All things that might divide humans are not nearly as powerful or important as the shared faith in Jesus which unites them (Galatians 3:28, Colossians 3:11) 3. This is a profound message, radical in every age, the manifestation of God's wisdom (Ephesians 3:10-11) G. Jesus Himself prayed that His people might be one as He and the Father are one (John 17:20-23) 1. Yes, God intends for man to be one with Him... 2. ...but that unity with Him demands that they are unified with one another as well (cf. 1 John 1:8)! H. This unity must be based in love (cf. 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, Philippians 2:1-4)! I. There is a special place in which this love is shared and in which man is reconciled back with his fellow man: the Church of Christ 1. The people of God in the New Testament are called the church, Greek ekklesia, "assembly," just like the "congregation" of the people of Israel (cf. Matthew 16:18) 2. The church is nothing more than the people who comprise it, and they are to work together to glorify and honor Jesus, and can only do so by loving one another as Jesus has loved them (1 Corinthians 12:12-28, Ephesians 4:11-16) J. Therefore, we need to reconnect with God in Christ by becoming His obedient servants (cf. Romans 6:18-23) K. Yet we cannot truly be reconciled back to God whom we have not seen while remaining alienated from the people of God whom we can see; we cannot truly say we love God if we do not love our fellow people of God (cf. 1 John 4:19-21)! L. It is within the church that we should find people with whom we share the most precious bond of faith in Christ, and therefore it is within the church that we should develop truly deep, loving relationships which we are all seeking! M. As we continue to explore how we are to reconnect with God and with each other, we will see how we can develop and maintain these loving relationships among fellow Christians N. Yet we can now see how important those relationships are, for it is by developing these relationships that we can reflect the God who is love, one in relational unity, by loving each other and all men! O. Let us develop these relationships in Christ and thus be reconciled both to God and to one another!